I have struggled to journal or blog since the covid-19 lockdown.
My brain seems to have come to a grinding halt in some aspects but is also filled with noise and anxiety from around the world. I can’t help but think about all the lives lost, people unable to say goodbye to loved ones, domestic violence figures rising globally, healthcare and essential services workers putting their lives on the line for us, people losing jobs, businesses closing down… the list goes on.
My days swing between being mildly productive (I am not bothered about finding side hustles, learning 5 languages whilst also getting a ‘beach body’ during this time) and trying to maintain a positive mindset to days when I feel like I have been hit with a sledgehammer and I struggle to get out of bed. My head hurts, my heart hurts – my soul hurts.
I have been trying to restrict my time on social media because I find the noise overwhelming but I still get drawn in. I have found myself consoling strangers (along with many others) as they share their stories of loss and heartbreak. I wish people from around the world Happy Birthday as they share their lockdown stories, I get angry with the government. I share pictures of my cat with people who are feeling sad and who have asked for pet pictures to help cheer them up. I write stupid tweets about my addiction to crisps and crumpets in the hope it may make someone laugh in a world of millions of strangers who are also angry, hurting, scared and many are feeling lonely.
The pandemic has taught me the importance of living in the moment, allowing myself to take each day as it comes. We can’t look too far ahead, there are so many things out of our control. I have been asking myself what events or thoughts can I challenge, accept or let go.
I hope people are going through a journey of reflection, self development and healing so we emerge wiser and kinder.
My faith and hope has always got me through tough times. I hope we make it.